I mean, it’s not actually a “crisis.”
I like to think of it more as an Urgent Call to Live My Life (before it’s too late!).
I don’t know why it took until my 40s to realize that the traditional recipe for success wasn’t working for me. I thought achievement = happiness.
Sadly, it doesn’t always.
Despite my professional achievements, I felt inside like “Is that all there is?” (I hear you, Peggy Lee.)
Seems to me that once the haze of immortality wears off sometime in our 30s or 40s, we’ve got a choice: Take steps now to make our lives look more like we always hoped they would, or lament/deny the passing of time and continue slogging on in mediocrity while keeping our dreams forever in the future, just up ahead after this next (insert unexciting obligation here).
It took a few panic attacks and a bout of depression for me to really accept that my job, dreamy as it may have seemed, wasn’t suited to my constitution or life purpose. Can you imagine the audacity of even thinking about shit like personal constitution and life purpose when you have a good job, much less one everyone considers a dream job?
But I had to do something, because I was mentally short-circuiting. My work wasn’t really suffering, but personally I was a mess. It felt like I had an ongoing low-grade flu and everything looked like malaise.
So I started getting more sleep and exercise. I went to therapy and got on medication. I took vitamins and ate vegetables. I journaled. I studied brain chemistry and gut health. I listened to Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday. I practiced mindfulness. I learned about my dosha and the yogic breath. I tried to put work in perspective and find my value outside of it.
And, incredibly, shockingly, gratefully, I’ve found a growing peace and stability that I continue to develop and nurture . I can still detail for you a long list of personal shortcomings (most of which I fear are totally obvious) but I’ve discovered access to an internal quiet I doubted I ever could find.
That inspired a fledgling strength that led me to leave that old job (total midlife-crisis move) and find a way to devote my life and work to what I care most about: joy, laughter, health, wellness, nature, connection, love and kindness. (Is that a job? Sign me up!)
That’s why I started this blog, applying my background as a journalist to exploring and writing about these things I love with the intention of becoming a wiser, happier, more compassionate and peaceful person and inspiring others to do the same.
I’m interested in mindset and behavior, the science of wellness, how being more loving and intentional with ourselves and others makes everything better. I’m approaching my studies, both informal and as a grad student in health, as reporter and subject, so I’ll be sharing facts and personal experiences here.
I hope anyone who stumbles on this site finds it enlightening and informative, or at least amusing. Thanks for joining me on the journey,
Sandy