Meditation teacher Roger Gabriel has been giving a talk each week on Deepak Chopra’s “Healing the Whole Self” workshop.
During week three, Gabriel said that all the organic food and yoga in the world won’t help if our lives are “emotionally turbulent,” and he outlined four steps for letting go of emotions so we don’t repress or hang onto them. While he lays them out quite gently and matter-of-factly, actualizing these steps doesn’t sound so easy. When powerful emotions hit me, I’m not my most thoughtful or rational self. But here are Gabriel’s tips:
- Take responsibility for your emotions. They’re yours. Someone or something may have triggered something in you, but the emotion you experience is your choice, he says: “When we blame someone for how we feel, we’re giving them our power and we’ll never be able to heal.”
- Identify the emotion. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? Is it really an emotion or just a judgment? (Developing compassion can make us less judgmental of ourselves and others.)
- Where am I feeling this emotion in my body? Gabriel says every emotion has a corresponding physical sensation somewhere in the body: “This is the stress forming — the emotion becoming toxic in the body.” He suggests breathing into the sensation with the intention of softening the tension and releasing the discomfort. Do something to let it go, he says, whether that’s journaling, punching a pillow, exhaling deeply or another physical act, or reaching out to a trusted friend and expressing yourself.
- Forgive. You can forgive the person without forgiving the act, he says. And if you withhold forgiveness, you are the one who suffers. “Forgiveness is a huge step in the direction of emotional freedom and healing the whole self,” he says.
He acknowledges that it may take several go-rounds through these steps to let go of long-held pain, resentment and guilt. (No kidding.)
He closed with a line that I immediately loved: “Learn to think with your heart and love with your mind.”