Instead of making the same old resolutions as last year and the year before — you know the ones: going to the gym every day, saving money every paycheck, only drinking on weekends; the promises that are “forgotten” by mid-February — how about making resolutions for 2020 that you actually want to keep?
This new year, consider making resolutions for things you’re truly excited about doing, not that you should do. Things you really will do. Because they sound awesome and fun.
For example, is there a place you’ve always wanted to visit, whether that’s a restaurant in your neighborhood or a destination across the country or overseas? Can doing that be your resolution this year?
I had always wanted to go to New Orleans, but never had “reason” to. So I made that my New Year’s resolution one year, and whaddaya know, I went!
I’m not saying a trip to New Orleans is as beneficial as going to the gym regularly or consistently saving a portion of each paycheck, but what IS beneficial is keeping a promise to yourself.
We let ourselves down so often. I know I do. I’ll resolve (not just on New Year’s, but often) to eat less sugar, then forget that promise as soon as I want something sweet. I’ll tell myself I’m cutting back on consumption, then buy a new sweater or purse I don’t need, just because it looks super cute online I let my promises to myself evaporate as quickly as snowflakes in the sunshine.
The problem is this pattern reinforces a notion that promises to myself have no value. Make a promise, who cares? It’ll be forgotten by the end of the day or month. Or hour.
That’s why it’s powerful to make promises about things we are really likely to do. Promises that we can actually keep. Promises that are fun to keep. It builds up that promise-keeping muscle. And the new year is the perfect time to practice, since it’s traditionally a time of resolutions. Let’s practice making promises that stick.
Maybe you resolve to plan dinner with a friend once a month. That sounds like fun and is actually doable. And after a few months of fun dinners out, you’ll know you can really keep a promise to yourself. Then you can tackle something harder, like getting to the gym regularly, or (gulp) quitting smoking. You’ve already created a track record of success.
I have been planning to write a book since I left my full-time journalism job almost two years ago, and I’ve made so little progress. I’ve written a few pages here and there, but nothing close to a book, or even a proposal. Just scattered musings. It wasn’t really a resolution. Just a notion of something I wanted to achieve.
But in the past year, I actually accomplished some hard things and really did keep promises to myself. I quit drinking, which was huge. I cut out Diet Coke, which had been a daily habit for decades. I started this blog and kept it going all year. And knowing that I said I’d do those things and then actually did them gives me strength and inspiration to take on other challenges, like the behemoth task of writing a book.
My resolution this year (this is so scary because writing it here makes it ever real-er than writing it in my journal somehow) is to complete my book proposal. I promise to spend at least 12 hours a week working on it. I’ve already found a way to carve out that time, now all I have to do is execute. And after seeing and knowing that I can keep promises to myself, this big one feels just a little easier. And writing it here means it’s going to happen (please, Universe, help me out).
So as we prepare to begin a new year and a new decade, let us make promises to ourselves that we can keep. We’ll start easy and increase the difficulty as we go. If we can make it to New Orleans or to dinner with a friend every month, we’ll know we have the resolve inside to get to the gym or write a book or anything else we’ve been audacious enough to dream about.
We are worth keeping promises to.
Happy New Year!