Even though I’m in the middle of the Self-Love Challenge and looking for new lovable things about me to celebrate each day, I am not immune to experiencing Miserable Shit About Aging.
Because I am a ladyperson in her mid-40s, this includes all kinds of hormonally induced wonkery that I wish I’d known more about ahead of time.
Basically, the primary female hormone — estrogen, made by the ovaries — starts to naturally decline in our 30s and 40s, creating all kind of physical and emotional havoc that can leave us unpredictably out of sorts.
So, in the spirit of information and commiseration, here’s a look at what you may or may not know about some of the Miserable Shit that comes with aging for the estrogen set.
(Note: This is not for the faint of heart. Some of this stuff is pretty gross.)
— Everything dries out: Your skin, your joints, your vag. That’s why wrinkles and crepey skin start to really show up in midage. The estrogen that was keeping everything naturally lubed-up is on the wane, leaving all kinds of things thirstier than usual. Good self-care quenching might include using richer moisturizers for your face, body and hair (like coconut oil); drinking more water; supplementing with fish oil, which can help keep things moisturized from the inside; stretching and moving regularly to keep joints supple and healthy; and incorporating lube into your sex play.
— Weird hairs sprout on your face: Estrogen fluctuations throw your hormones out of balance, allowing the natural testosterone women have to rear up more than it ought to, leading weird hairs to sprout on the face (and sometimes nipples). I seem to have my own little beard patch on the left side of my chin now, in addition to the lady mustache most of us start noticing in our teens and 20s. It’s a double-whammy, too, because the new face hairs start popping up right around when the ability to see tiny things begins to fade. So put on those reading glasses, get a magnifying mirror and wield those tweezers like a champ. And check more often than you think you need to: some of those buggers can grow an inch overnight, I swear.
— Your internal thermostat goes haywire: This is so unpredictable and weird that, when it starts happening, you might not know what it is. I didn’t. Scientists aren’t sure why, but as estrogen dips, your body temperature goes bonkers, and that’s why you’ve heard about the dreaded “hot flash.” But what exactly is a hot flash? It’s a sudden and perceptible elevation in personal temperature. This happened to me for the first time a few days ago (and coincidentally, the New York Times published a story about hot flashes this week): I was having dinner at a restaurant, and suddenly my neck and upper chest felt hot and sweaty. I put my hair in a ponytail, which I ended up taking down and putting up repeatedly for the next few minutes. Then things went back to normal. I googled it when I got home — classic hot flash. These can happen while you sleep, too, which I’ve experienced a couple times. The “flash,” which lasts several minutes for sure, can cause such sweating that you wake up wet. Pretty gross, like I said. Not much can be done about hot flashes short of hormonal replacement, which I haven’t looked into yet. Otherwise, keep a ponytail holder nearby, and maybe a cool compress.
There is a LOT of good stuff about life and aging, too, but that’s for another post.